Parenting – it’s just something that’s been in practice (I mean that figuratively and literally) since time immemorial by pretty much all species on the planet. Over the ages, cultures have established their own norms on the dos and don’ts of nurturing children. And with time, these unwritten, but understood rules have changed and will continue to do so as each next generation evolves. However, some tenements of raising children don’t; that’s what I mean when discussing Effective Parenting.
In my previous blog post, I briefly explained what effective parenting means and outlined a few thoughts on what it means to “mould an individual.”
What is accepted in the West may be frowned upon in the East; what was believed as customary in one age may be unaccepted in another. For instance, there was an era when punitive methods were regarded as necessary for good parenting. Today, it’s almost the opposite with parents being permissive to an extent, where they strive to be friends to their kids instead of… well, parents.
So which kind of upbringing is the right one?
Spare the rod and spoil the child or meting out punishments at the drop of a hat? In yesteryears, parents were pretty much ignorant of the psychological aspect or how their actions impacted a child’s psyche. Today, they are so overloaded with spiel on psychological trauma that they are afraid to even say ‘No’ to the most ridiculous demands. Finding the correct/middle/appropriate path is no easy task today.
Even though each age had its generation gap and all parents of that period thought that parenting was most challenging during their times, today, it really does appear to be so. With a plethora of information, both good and bad, that is so easily available in the digital space, comes the evil of handling or monitoring that knowledge.
It becomes that much more imperative to supervise what our children are seeing. Kids and teens are so impressionable that games like ‘Blue Whale’ don’t take long in claiming lives.
Disciplining children, instilling the right values, conditioning their psyche positively and also realistically, seems to be a Herculean task in this case.
So, which parenting style is the most effective?
To be authoritarian or permissive. It raises the rather potent question of whether we’ll be scarring our kids if we don’t give in to their demands or spoiling them if we do. Parents, the world over, are fretting over such concerns, most of them being generic and not culture-specific at all.
The good news is – all of these questions have answers, rational answers.
Effective parenting is sensible parenting – being firm and not strict, positive but not unrealistic, encouraging yet grounded. And if you’re wondering if that’s even possible; you bet it is!
For in-depth details on Effective Parenting stay tuned to my Facebook page and website for updates on upcoming workshops on the subject.
Meanwhile, don’t be shy, you can reach out me anytime via my Contact page for any and all assistance regarding effective parenting or any other issues you may have.