How many actions and decisions have you honestly taken responsibility for? Small or big, day-to-day or even the life-changing ones… how often and how many do you take sole ownership of?
Perhaps when the fruits are sweet, it’s easier to publicise that you planted the seed. But what happens when the consequences are bitter? Do you still own up to them? How easy it is to pass the buck to someone or some circumstance, for all the miserable outcomes attained from your own choices.
Take a hard look at the most recent debacle you faced. Think of what or whom you blamed, for the mess you were in. Check for your reaction. Figure out if you played the blame game again unless you actually stopped to see your own role in the outcome.
If your finger pointed elsewhere, chances are you saw yourself as a victim in the unpleasant situation. This only furthers the ‘poor me’ vortex created entirely by you. Such instances will only accumulate finally burdening you with the heavy baggage of hurt and bitterness.
On the other hand, if you choose to take onus for every action you make or decision you take, the result will be a ‘Made by Self’ attitude. Good or bad, it would be your handiwork. If it’s good, pat yourself on the back. If not so good, pat yourself even harder. Because at least you took the risk and that takes a lot of courage.
Next, check how you felt. Did you wallow in self-pity and become an emotional wreck or did you learn from the experience, albeit feeling disappointed, and move on? And therein lays the key to happiness.
Ask yourself these questions –
- Do you have unrealistic demands on yourself and others?
- Do you respond appropriately to life situations, especially those that don’t play out as you desired?
- Do you believe in your ability to cope with all that you’re served? And most importantly,
- Do you allow others, including yourself, to be judgmental of your actions?
Just like sorrow, happiness too, is self-created. It’s you who decides and chooses to be miserable or joyous. When things don’t go as planned, sure, by all means, be disappointed but, move on, after learning from the experience. Because it is the weight of past baggage that makes it difficult to move ahead and take a step towards that state, we call happiness.
No matter which angle you look at it, being happy depends entirely on you. Own your happiness. It’s very affordable.