It’s something you need to do if you really want to evolve… one sure way of doing it is by forgiving yourself and others. The other way is becoming aware that perhaps forgiveness wasn’t even needed because the situation YOU thought warranted it was, in effect, self-perceived.
Let’s try and make sense of the above paragraph, especially the last part:-
Transferring the blame, a Healing no-no
Relationships are tricky and complicated. To make things worse, whenever they are strained, it’s always the ‘other’ person’s fault. However, if we only took a minute to objectively analyse the situation, it would be pretty clear, that what we mistook for a fact, could very well be an assumption, made by us. All in the endeavour to let ourselves off the hook, so we could shift the blame onto someone else and play the victim.
We get ‘hurt’ so easily by those we care about. It’s almost like people around us have this agenda to leave all else aside and make it their sole business, to make sure we suffer one way or the other. It always seems like pain is literally thrown at us, just like that!
But how many times do we stop to think that others’ can only hurt us if we allow them to? That power is and always will be ours. And if we examine it closely, it is a choice we all have. Just as it is a fact that we can’t control others, it is equally true that the only control we have is over ourselves.
Healing begins when we understand our conditioning
The story of the elephant and six blind men is legendary. What each of the six men described the elephant to be was how they individually experienced it. Similarly, we all experience circumstances differently, according to our conditioning and beliefs.
And if our beliefs are flawed, as they are for most of us, then we end up playing the victim to someone else’s villain. And viola! We get hurt. Little knowing that the reason of our hurt is quite easily, most times, no more than an assumption or a completely irrational belief that perhaps, our ‘villain’ doesn’t quite adhere to. Hence, it doesn’t even warrant forgiveness as it might not even be an actual fact.
Can we prevent the hurt to begin the healing process?
So how do we prevent ourselves from getting hurt? Quite simply by remembering the tale of the Six Blind Men. Just as they responded differently to the elephant, we too react to situations differently. The important point being, we have a choice as to how we react. And it is that internal dialogue we have playing in our minds that makes that choice.
It’s time to change the dialogue and make the choice of not feeling hurt.
It is the thought that creates the emotion that is then acted out, as our behaviour. And it is this simple, yet powerful concept that works, in ridding us of our emotional disturbances allowing us to actually heal.
At Self Align, I can help you find the power to change that dialogue and understand how you can heal better. Feel free to reach out to me at any time for more details, via my website’s Contact page or my Facebook page.